You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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