smell my finger.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
