Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
