At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
