Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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