I am spending my child support on dildos
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize