Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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