What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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