I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
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Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
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party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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