Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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