i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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