Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I cut my penus on the lid.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
