Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
did i walk over a car last night?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
