At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
