So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize