we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
