you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
