Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize