I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
