it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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