Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock

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(512): View more from Texas

I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.

(573): View more from Missouri

Successful day.

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(917): View more from New York City

But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.

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These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Read it at the TFLN blog
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?

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(406): View more from Montana

Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...

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(609): View more from New Jersey

i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,

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(815): View more from Illinois

best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.

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(205): View more from Alabama

We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten

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