Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned http://tfl.nu/s0bf
  Replies (19) Good night (3723) Bad night (848)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads http://tfl.nu/e0lk
  Replies (8) Good night (3274) Bad night (505)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy. http://tfl.nu/ogyk
  Replies (15) Good night (2806) Bad night (697)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive. http://tfl.nu/qwvv
  Replies (19) Good night (6918) Bad night (720)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (254): Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer. http://tfl.nu/oysw
  Replies (16) Good night (2744) Bad night (1172)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her. http://tfl.nu/8p27
  Replies (20) Good night (5646) Bad night (1908)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog http://tfl.nu/x4z4
  Replies (10) Good night (4129) Bad night (1229)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off. http://tfl.nu/r6m3
  Replies (12) Good night (4419) Bad night (1706)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead http://tfl.nu/4b2b
  Replies (18) Good night (5436) Bad night (1263)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah http://tfl.nu/389u
  Replies (4) Good night (1179) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird. http://tfl.nu/mrcn
  Replies (10) Good night (1334) Bad night (498)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible? http://tfl.nu/fv2h
  Replies (3) Good night (811) Bad night (436)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time. http://tfl.nu/tvg3
  Replies (7) Good night (1224) Bad night (509)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college http://tfl.nu/6ip8
  Replies (5) Good night (493) Bad night (1425)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma. http://tfl.nu/kebr
  Replies (0) Good night (1045) Bad night (318)

Randomize