Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

She went from zero to smokin in five shots

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(303): She went from zero to smokin in five shots http://tfl.nu/1faz

Replies (1) Good night (2310) Bad night (917)
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(802): View more from Vermont

and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?

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(802): and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina? http://tfl.nu/mzx1

Replies (47) Good night (768) Bad night (6211)
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(207): View more from Maine

at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally

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(207): at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally http://tfl.nu/d50n

Replies (28) Good night (1773) Bad night (4435)
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(586): View more from Michigan

so how was last night?

(1-586): View more from Michigan

got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.

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(586): so how was last night? (1-586): got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages. http://tfl.nu/4xoa

Replies (21) Good night (10595) Bad night (1368)
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(347): View more from New York

sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.

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(347): sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things. http://tfl.nu/13io

Replies (36) Good night (8455) Bad night (1422)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself

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(201): I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself http://tfl.nu/d62r

Replies (34) Good night (2223) Bad night (3776)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.

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(203): Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one. http://tfl.nu/lrd9

Replies (6) Good night (3956) Bad night (859)
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(734): View more from Michigan

I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.

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(734): I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel. http://tfl.nu/6ex0

Replies (8) Good night (1015) Bad night (2049)
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(314): View more from Missouri

Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.

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(314): Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me. http://tfl.nu/z9vp

Replies (6) Good night (3210) Bad night (1406)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.

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(701): in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head. http://tfl.nu/rwbn

Replies (11) Good night (2813) Bad night (638)
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(416): View more from Toronto

Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.

(416): View more from Toronto

NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.

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(416): Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement. (416): NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada. http://tfl.nu/6stg

Replies (6) Good night (1636) Bad night (471)
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(312): View more from Illinois

Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing

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(312): Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing http://tfl.nu/oxks

Replies (8) Good night (1444) Bad night (494)
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(770): View more from Georgia

Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.

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(770): Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else. http://tfl.nu/0so2

Replies (1) Good night (426) Bad night (648)
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(703): View more from Virginia

And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.

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(703): And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me. http://tfl.nu/uen9

Replies (0) Good night (403) Bad night (484)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.

(1-267): View more from Pennsylvania

While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible

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(267): we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights. (1-267): While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible http://tfl.nu/a368

Replies (0) Good night (185) Bad night (86)

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