I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.