I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now