addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize