Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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