No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I know her cup size but not her name....
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