Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
