Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
