I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
