He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Bang-toberfest begins!!
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
