I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
