I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I am naked and annoyed.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize