How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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