I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
