Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Randomize
