help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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