i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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