Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
50% drunk capacity currently
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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