Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
