there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
