are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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