I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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