it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
