My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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