Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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