Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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