I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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