do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
