i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
