My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize