If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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