JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
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What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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