please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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