Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
