He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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