Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
