Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
