So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
