Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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