I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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