he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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