fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
