Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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