Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
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She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
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You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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