walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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