I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
