only if we run a train.
done.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
