Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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