Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
How does it feel to date your dad?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
