dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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