i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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